"This air of secrecy made it easier for me to keep from telling Ruth about Tommy buying me the Judy Bridgewater tape. I didn't go as far as actually hiding the thing... but I always made sure not to leave it out or on top of a pile." (pg. 184)
All Tommy did was buy Kathy a tape that she particularly wanted. In most relationships, this would never cause jealously. I think that the reason Kathy doesn't want Ruth to see the tape is because she knows that Ruth realizes that Kathy and Tommy should be together. Ruth is playing against the universe, because Kathy and Tommy are the dream pair. Inside, I think Ruth knows this, but won't admit it to herself.
Kathy finally finding the Judy Bridgewater tape is important after all of these years because it helps remind her of the song which kept her dreaming. The song not only is significant because it relates to not being able to have children or because Madame saw her dancing to it, but because it connects Kathy to Hailsham. If she had found it any other way, it would have brought Kathy and Ruth closer, instead of creating a secret between them. It is a shame that something that should have made Kathy so joyful brought such guilt and worry.
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